The Reality of Work

So, work is work.
Some people take it for granted. Some people think it's the greatest thing on earth. Others do it for a paycheck. While others absolutely hate doing it, for any reason. And yet, there are others who just don't do it.

I work.
That's the reality of it. I work, because I have to. I work, because I love what I do. I work, to work. Sounds strange. I really do work, just to work. I am completely blessed that I have such a raging passion for what I do. I'm lucky enough to get paid for it.

However, a lot of people with illnesses don't work. Some look on in awe, while people with illnesses work. Others, have never realized that their co-worker is sick.
Why?
Simply put, because you have to sacrifice to work when you are ill. Sure, a lot of people find work... well... work. But when you are 'normal' and you work, you look forward to your time off, time with friends, time with family, cooking meals, bar-b-ques, outings, movies, shopping, what ever your pleasure is.
You may leave work, go to the store, come home, cook, have a meal, maybe spend time with kids, spouses, friends or family. You may go out, spend time with friends. Go to a movie.
Then you have your normal night time routine and off to bed you go. Up and do it all over again the next day.
You always have that "thing" you're going to do to look forward to.

When you are ill, will always be ill...
sometimes you have to choose. Will I work? or will I strive to have some form of life for my family?
Because we can't have both.
IF we work, it is what we do. We get up, take what energy we have, pour our illness down our throat, hide it from our faces, force our bodies to move in spite of sometimes crippling pain, put a smile on our face, stumble through our routine and head to work.
Without a lot of the normal routine that 'normal' people have.
No fanfare. No glory. No shower. No hair curlers.
Simply because you can't raise your hands above your head when you first get up. Certainly can not grab rollers or curing irons. Sometimes, we can't tie our shoes. Other times, spouses may dress us to help us get out the door. They cook too, feed us.
Then a handful of pills down the throat.
Out the door we go.
We put on a smile, try to move as normally as possible, try to concentrate on our work. We strive to give the best that we can. Because we committed to working and we are committed to what we do.
Pour a few more pills down our throats.
Eat, if we can keep the food down.
Struggle to work some more. We keep forcing that smile on our faces, we work side by side with our co-workers, we socialize, try to keep the pain, the vomiting, the hurt, the disease from our face.
When it is done for the day.
We go home.
Most of us take some form of medications, yet again. Pour more pills down our throats.
We are to tired to move. To tired to cook. We certainly can't clean.
The pain or nausea, upset, aches, fog, disconnect, stress all add up, to ensure that our bodies are no longer functioning. The thought of food, may make us so sick, that eating isn't possible.
If we are lucky, our spouses feed us. Or we grab something quick, easy... maybe the microwave, maybe soup, possibly some yogurt, what ever will get us by. Because we are supposed to have food in our stomachs before the next round of pills.
Movement is no longer an option.
We crawl in to bed, pray that our bodies and minds will give us a moment of rest. Maybe we will sleep. Maybe we won't, more often than not, the pain is so bad, the mind is working overtime, the medications are making us sick or we just can't settle in to a comfortable position to stop the throbbing.
So, we might get 2 or 3 hours of sleep all said. We might also, if we are really lucky, get 6 or 7 hours! It's like a dream come true!
But, if the pain is bad, there is no REM sleep.
We just muddle through it.

To get up and do it all over again.

So, why would you work? Why would you sacrifice the small amount of possible time and energy your body gives you to work? What would possess you to drag yourself out of bed, to suffer, to make yourself sicker, just to work?

For some of us, it is because what we do is our passion.
And have you ever seen what disability pays? You certainly can't pay your doctors, buy your meds and keep a roof over your head with that.
For some of us, it is because we love to work.
But, we sacrifice a lot, just to do that.
Sometimes, it is to just "feel" like we are 'normal' again.
I'm not sure, if we do it, with the hopes it will all be better some day. I think I long ago determined that it won't be better. Yet, I really can't imagine, doing nothing. Except, because I am sick, I don't do anything. I do work, though. Love, passion for what I do, forces me to keep going.

What would I have, if I didn't have that?